Shut The Duck Up Shirt

May 23rd, 2017 | Filed under Shirts
Shut The Duck Up Shirt

Shut The Duck Up Shirt – Click Image

I live in a noisy polluted city, whose buildings stretch so far to the sky, that sun beams can rarely hit the people walking below. The air is thick with the hot smell of cars, and there is an incessant non melodious honking of horns echoing down the roads.

Driven near mad by the business of the city I decided to take a trip back to nature, to find a silence that can only exist there. I was happy on my trip, for a bit, but then a sound even less melodious than a car horn “quack quack quack”ed at me. The quacking was a bit like a person stuffing tin foil in my ears, and with each additional quack, like a bit more foil being forced in. The pressure built, it hurt, and I desperately needed it to stop.

I told the duck “SHUT UP!”, but the unreasonable beast would not be quiet, so, I went back to my car trunk, got my Duck Tape, and Shut The Duck Up.

Shut The Duck Up Shirt

Mario Mushroom Pusher Shirt

May 17th, 2017 | Filed under Shirts

Mario Drug Dealer Tee

Mario Mushroom Dealer Shirt – Click Image

Hey…pssst. Come here…Check these out.

These red and white spotty shrooms are incredible. Beauties aren’t they? These babies will rock your world.

Last time I tried these I went to like this technicolor dream world man, as I walked around there was like this happy theme music everywhere, I grew like really big, and strong, and there were all these freaky creatures walking around, and I’m like jumping really high, and bouncing off their freaky little heads, sometimes I thought I was swimming with the fishes, finding gold everywhere, and then suddenly I was parkouring up flagpoles man.

Give them a try, buy three and I’ll toss in some dank kush.

Have enough and you’ll think you can spit fireballs.

 

Mario Mushroom Dealer Shirt

Selfish Fish Shirt

May 17th, 2017 | Filed under Rants, Shirts
selfish fish selfie shirt

Selfish Shirt – Click Image

“Oh oh, this is a good one, I look like such a star, I should send this to NASA.”

“Just a thousand more selfies and I get to put in a fresh memory card.”

“A hundred selfies a day keeps the insecurity away.”

“I’m going to put this one on twitter and tell everyone I don’t care what they think!”

“Why take picture of other people when you can take hundreds of yourself? I am so awesome.”

“If someone kidnaps me, please use my selfie with the most likes.”

“How come some of my selfies make me look like a clown?”

 

Selfish Shirt

Foul Mouth Clown Shirt

May 9th, 2017 | Filed under Shirts
Sick Clown Shirt

Foul Mouth Clown Shirt – Click Image

Although being a clown came naturally to poor Bonozo, his inability to escape from clownhood was never easy for him.

Bonozo was not your average clown. He did not put average sized feet into “clown shoes” in order to try and look hilarious… this was the actual size of his feet, and these were the only shoes on the market which would fit him. His hair grew red in a funny patch naturally, his skin was eggshell white, his nose was always big and red, and his body was naturally large and floppy.

Tired of being a clown, Bonozo would often try and drink himself silly, but then upon realizing that he was already silly, and no drinking would make any sort of difference, he would often be overwhelmed with nausea, and then rush to the bathroom to barf up his sparky rainbow sickness, which did not make him feel any better, and in fact the sight of his barf, often just made him more sick, leading to a cycle of more nausea inducing rainbows and sparkles.

Save

Suicide By Oil Shirt

May 1st, 2017 | Filed under Opinions and Perspectives, Rants
Suicide By Oil Shirt

Suicide By Oil Shirt - Click Image

Thank goodness, we are not our crappy backwards ancestors who used to romp through the forest paths on horseback, and walk around on the soft ground of the natural earth surrounded by all sorts of furry animals.

No, we are better than that, we have cut down the trees, and paved the earth. We have done such a good job of sterilizing our planet that some people can wear their shoes right into their house and not even track any soil from the outside.

As we fill up our tanks everyday, and the threat of carbon emissions cooking our planet looms over us, for all the wars and problems Oil causes in our world, I feel this Suicide by Oil shirt is an appropriate one.

I guess if it gets too hot we can all just sit in our car with the air conditioners on to survive.

Suicide By Oil Shirt