He Just Couldn’t Handle The Truth

Work has always been a bit of a tedious task for me, having spent halve of my adult life traveling and doing exactly what I wanted, swimming or surfing all day if I felt like it, reading in hammocks, trekking through jungles, climbing mountains or volcanoes or just sitting around chatting with friends and partying all night, I have countless things I like to do, and none of them involve work. However I was not born wealthy, nor am I wealthy now, eventually my money always runs out and I need to get back to work again, to save for my next long vacation.

I was a car salesman for three years once, after my many years in retail, and the knowledge that the bigger the product the bigger the commission, I decided to try my hand at the top of the retail game, I sold some entry level cars, but also things like Lexus, Mercedes, BMW Audis, Infinity, Cadillacs and most of the other top brand names. The money was good, but there was a lot of competition, stealing, conspiring and injustice involved in the job,  many people were always trying to take a share of your commissions for themselves. Bullying on car lots is common, and there are an abnormal amount of fist fights.

One night after being particularly sick of my job, I watched an episode of the Simpson’s where Homer having finally paid off the mortgage, decided to get his dream job at the local bowling alley.  Since I had almost paid off my mortgage at this point, and was so tired of swimming around the shark tank I called work. I decided to take Homers lead and got a job working as IT support on contract for big business. Though the pay was about a quarter of what I was used to, there was virtually no competition, lying, greed, or backstabbing going on. It was almost shocking to step so far out of the sleaze I was used to, and helped refresh my faltering faith in humanity.

Office Space Poster

I Worked In A Place They Made A Comedy About

The job was a very interesting one to me, the building I was working in employed about 3000 people, but the company employed many more doing the exact same thing we were doing, in many other places around the globe. In order to manage so many people, we were all given numbers, mine was 512650, we had to identify ourselves by this number on all documents we created, as well as all phone calls and other interactions in the office, we very much became a number and not a person, this was Dilbert meets the Borg. I am not allowed to give exact details on the company due to papers I signed when I started work there, but the movie Office Space was actually filmed in one of its locations, and was based on the work there.

What I liked most about the job besides the many decent people I worked with, was that only halve of the time did we actually need to be working, after each phone call there was a break before the next one, and most long termers had figured out how to stretch that break as long as possible, most of my time was actually spent surfing the Internet, and chatting with the people around me, it was very social and very fun. Though the job paid very little, I was happy.

The company had a very high turn over, and there were always new recruits coming in, this story is about my interactions with one new recruit named Devin who was sat in the cubicle directly in front of me. Devin was fresh out of high school, he was a local to the town, and I don’t think had yet worked a day in his life. He sat down, put his headset on, and began taking calls.

The beginning of the job is very difficult, often our clients were groups such as Pixar, General Motors, NASA, or some other huge corporation, and sometimes the people you are talking to are not some clerk at their help desk, but some big wig himself, who’s very nature is commanding. I had gotten used to these types of clients already, I had sold people like this their luxury cars, and had learned to just speak frankly to them, not to argue, and keep control by answering all their demands as slowly as I liked.  When working on the phone, really rude customers could just be given a  little “time out”,  as we put them on hold and goof off for a few minutes until we felt like talking to them again, saying we were doing “research”

Anyhow here is Devin, this recent high school graduate, thrown into the harsh reality of work, trying to help people solve all sorts of complicated computer problems he never knew existed, and talking to loud mouth commanding big wigs from all over the world.

Devin did not adjust well to the job, he was often frustrated, slamming his headphone down on the desk and shouting at it, taking long walks to the washroom, missing some days of work, and then after a while coming to work stoned on weed, eventually he added drinking booze at lunch time in his car. I had always tried to be a bit of a mentor to him telling him why I was in the job, how it was really not that bad, and should count himself lucky that the customers are only on the phone, where you can put them on hold and not in his face.

Devin was sure I didn’t really understand, he told me strait out, “You just don’t get it.”

I was between calls, so I said, “Yeah man I get it. I have just learned to live as a corporate slave is all. I mean here we are, our government has spent fifteen years educating us, and this is what we have become, we are forced to sit in our cubicles eight hours a day, answering telephones on a flashing light and a bing, kind of like how they teach chickens to play the piano. The people on the phone get pissed off at us because they are too stupid to learn how to use their computers themselves, and cant follow our simple directions, and we are forced to take their crap because we have four layers of bosses and quality control watching our every move, with cameras on the ceiling, and listeners on our phone calls. It is a bit like a jail, we even have our numbers on our chest ” (I pointed to the ID tag we were forced to wear) ” But its worse than that, not only are we stuck in our cubicle, but we are tethered to our phone by these stupid headsets , kind of like a dog on the leash, they pay us crap, and give us hell.”

He said “Yeah that’s it !”

I was having fun by now, and had worked myself up a bit, I still loved my job, but was enjoying my rant against the corporate world, I could also see he was worked up and wide eyed about my speech, and I just couldn’t stop myself from winding him up further.

“I mean we are not really criminals or animals are we? We’re better than this? Right? This isn’t what our nation trained us to do is it? We are supposed to invent rocket ships and fly to mars, not sit here like a bunch of stupid poorly treated animals right? This place reminds me of a bunch of chickens on a farm all sitting in their little boxes and forced to lay eggs.”

He reacted in a way I did not expect, maybe it was the double chicken analogy that put him over the top, I am not sure. I thought he would just join my rant for a bit and get back to work, but something kind of snapped in him.

He said, halve to himself “No I’m not an animal, I’m better than this.” then he slammed his headphones on the desk and shouted to the other thousand or so people in earshot “I AM NOT AN ANIMAL! I WILL NOT LIVE IN THIS CAGE, AND WEAR THIS LEASH ! ”

He then proceeded to grab his stuff, and began walking down the cubicle alleys, speaking to no one, but giving the finger to all the managers and supervisors that tried to ask him where he was going,  he walked through security, then finally marched right out the door.

I never saw Devin again, I hope he is doing well, either that he has submitted to his corporate masters or found his way on his own, but one thing was sure, at that moment, in that place, he just couldn’t handle the truth.

And now a video about a piano playing chicken.

 

Prisioner Of Consumerism Shirt

Prisioner Of Consumerism

Prisioner Of Consumerism Shirt - Click Image $19.99 USD

A man relaxes day in day out, for many years, under the shade of a tree, on the edge of a beautiful tropical beach.

He enjoys  watching  the waves break on the shore, the bird flying,  the clouds shifting through the sky, and the eventual sunsets of each passing day.

When he gets hungry, he feeds himself on the delicious falling fruits of the surrounding trees.

He does this day in day out for many years.

One day a man in a suit comes along, and sees this man sitting under the tree.and asks, “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, hello, I am just sitting here watching the birds, and the waves” replies the Tree Man. ”

The Suited Man asks “Well, what do you do for work?”

“Oh, well I don’t work” the Tree Man replies.

The Suited Man looks astounded, “Why don’t you pick up some of these fruits and take them to the market, you could make some money from that”

“OK, well after that what do I do?” asks the Tree Man.

The Suited Man “Well after you sell enough fruits you can buy yourself a wheel barrow, and take more to the market faster”

“OK, so after that what do I do?”

The Suited Man “Well after you do that for a while you can get yourself a truck and take more to the market.”

“OK, so whats after that ?”

The Suited Man ” Well after you do that a while you can come back here and sit under your tree.”

The People In Society That Look So Normal, Are Often The Real Freaks.

People seem to have a tendency these days, to be dazzled by the sleek cars, nice houses, sharp clothing, and fancy jewelry the wealthy amongst us might own. Most people who also want these things, may decide to replicate the wealthy people’s actions, in the hope it brings them the same riches.

Have you ever had a notice though that most of the really strange news stories are about people that actually have wealth? Oh sure there are lot of videos of long haired idiots getting injured after saying things like “Hey, watch this!”, but the really demented stuff always seems to come from the types of people that seem to have it all financially together, and look to be “normal”.

I would like to bring your attention to this video below, where you can see that the normal looking, tea drinking granny is not so normal after all, and the youth that look like a bunch of trouble makers are actually the victims of her twisted imagination.

And They Just Keep on Marching

Nobody likes bad people. Society for many thousands of years has tried to use religion to teach us our morals, the right from the wrong, and yet they still exist.

The dislike of nasty people is not confined to just the religious societies though, even in non religious societies evil doers are shunned and punished. Modern society has laws to punish the mean hearted among us. After all, if you let a bad guy run around stealing and hurting people, and you don’t lock them up, it could be you, or someone you care about next.

None of us is a true saint, but the best of us try to keep our bad side in check.

After doing the wrong thing, most people will stop in their tracks, realize what they have done, and turn to apologize or try and lessen their crimes. The worst of society however will commit a vile deed, and are happy about the outcome. They don’t consider or care about the hurt they have caused. They don’t stop to think about the damage they have done, there is no guilt to cause them pause. They hide from the truth and think of defenses if they get caught. Often they will get away with it and be free to march towards their next victim.

To all the uncaring jerks that avoided punishment and were able to march away after screwing others over, fleeing from the truth of their wrongful deeds like the chickens that they are, here is my salute to you:

Just Keep Marching Foul Fowls, One Day You Will Stop In Your Tracks.

Measuring Life in T-Shirt Hours

I read an opinion the other day,  that when you grow up, you should put the t-shirts away, buy a shirt with a collar, and get a job.  This really is a sad reality for most people, as  there are just so few decent paying jobs that allow t-shirts.

I like to wear t-shirts though, they are more comfortable than collars and I can get interesting ones that others don’t have.

After childhood it seems that usually only on weekends and holidays can you still enjoy a full day in a T-Shirt, and of course in retirement, these are the times in your life when you are your most free. Freedom to wear a T-Shirt. The rest of the time you are usually working away for the big corporate grinding wheel in your silly collar and tie.  In a world where you are forced to wear a tie, productiveness becomes more important than comfort. and you might find the freedom to start a conversation,  get a drink,  eat, or even visit the washroom the moment you feel a desire to is gone.

I would say most of us can measure the amount of true freedom we have in our life by how many T-Shirt hours we get to experience.

However,  a collar, tie, and job are all better than being unemployed and wishing you had a job. After all, employment is really not all that bad, there is usually a lot of socializing, company parties and other things.

But you lose the freedom and comfort of a T-Shirt.

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