Go The Fok To Sleep – Reading by Samuel L Jackson

Next time you or someone you love are having a hard time sleeping, please consider listening to Samuel L Jackson soothing voice as he lulls you and your children to sleep with some lovely stories of sparrows, sleeping tigers, flowers, and mountains.

A book titled Go The Fok To Sleep by Adam Mansbach

Sith Happens Shirt – Vader

Darth Vader Sith Happens Shirt

Sith Happens Shirt Click Image

One of the prime teachings of Sithism is that as sure as Dagobahs gnarltrees will petrify, eventually Sith will Happen.

The phrase “Sith Happens” is used commonly throughout the universe to explain an unpredictable and disturbing randomness. For example, occasionally due to the inability of a nav computer to calculate asteroids deflecting off one another during the course of hyperspace, “sith would happen”, as broadcast news reported on the loss of lives, it would inevitable close the report using the phrase “Sith Happens” as a reminder to the general populous that random turns of events are sometimes unavoidable.

Sometimes “Sith Happens” can be used with a air of dark humor, surveillance tapes of operation Knightfall, showed Darth Vader using the term repeatedly as he slay his fellow jedi. Often as the innocent victims fell, they asked “Why?” to which Darth would reply, “Sith Happens”.

WWF Panda Parody Shirt

WWF Panda Parody Shirt

WWF Parody Tee
Click Image
$19.99

And here we have WWF taking his well deserved and rightful spot at center ring, stopping for just a moment to pose for the cameras.

Oh wait, whats this!? It looks like the previous WWF champ, Mauler, is creeping around behind the ring, what could this dastardly villain be up to? He seems to be digging around down there for something. Looks like he found a chair. Maybe he is going to offer WW a seat?

Oh no! It doesn’t look to me like he wants WW to sit, and down the chair comes, Mauler just smacked WW hard! And he is continuing to smack him over an over again, at this point I would guess the beatings will probably continue until Mauler’s morale improves. WW must feel like he’s back in China being stuffed into a firecracker by now!

What a horrible sight, sorry you were here to see this ladies and gentlemen, lets hope the kids left the room, or poor WW may not be the only one here left scarred for life.

Funny WWF Panda Shirt

Dating Surprise WTF ?!

I have been reading fellow writer and friend, Robert Morshel’s blog for a short while now, and have found him to be always good for a laugh, so I invited him to come write a post for me here at Chasing Carrots inspired by the the acronym W.T.F. Thankfully he accepted and this is what he came up with. Enjoy!

WTF By: Robert Morshel

The sheets rustled and I opened my eyes. The room was still dark, but I felt the mattress give and heard the sound of feet softly padding to the bathroom. The click of a switch suddenly flooded the bed with painful light, and I closed my eyes until the door closed. I listened to clack of the toilet seat, followed by a gentle, persistent trickle of water that stirred my own bladder.

What a night. Whatever her name was, she had had a voracious, almost Amazonian, sexual appetite that had worn me thoroughly out. Six, seven times, was it? Before last night I would have thought it impossible at my age, but she had somehow, almost supernaturally, seemed to know all the things that a man needs and wants, and had extracted every ounce of desire that I possessed. My loins stirred painfully at the memories. What a woman.

The toilet flushed, and was followed by the sound of humming and washing of hands. Her voice seemed deeper than I recalled but I paid it no mind, at least until the door opened, and before me stood a lithe, and enviably well-endowed young man. His lipsticked mouth broke into a toothy grin when he saw me gawping at him. “Ah, Mr Jones. Ready for another round?”

Bio:
Robert Morschel, writer of software in London, and words at mulledvine.com.

WTF

WTF ? !

Epic Road Rage Win

An epic display of bad driving, road rage, and revenge.

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