Good Monkey Like Beer, Not Like Banana T-Shirt

Mar 9th, 2010 | Filed under Shirts

On March 8, 2010, my college Joe and I were brought to the Tuktoyaktuk headquarters of the NWO to have a meeting with “The Monkey”

Part of my work as a traveling photo journalist working on secret contract for the NWO, is of course the study of monkeys. In this case actually a Chimpanzee, who is not really a monkey, but this one believes he is so we wont argue with him. We were told The Monkey had a message to share with the world, and that we were here to collect, and publish it.

Upon arrival, we were guided through heavy security to a large room on top of the fortress.  We waited a few  minutes, then were instructed by a large heavily armed guard that The Monkey would see us now.

Funny Good Monkey Like Beer Not Like Banana Shirt

Good Monkeys Like Beer and Headphones, Not Bananas Shirt - $19.99 click on image

We followed the guard into  a very large room that almost  took up an entire floor of the huge fortress, books covered the walls, and there was a large lit fireplace with a reading lamp next to an beautiful leather armchair.

The Monkey was in the chair  stoking  the fire a bit with a black metal rod, after a moment, he looked up at us with his wise, all knowing  eyes.

He said, “You know, it has always been to my belief, after meeting with my fellow monkey companions, that in order to become above average, and considered a ” Good monkey”, you must do things differently than most of the masses.

The monkey took a long pause, and looked thoughtfully around the room, there was a shine in his eyes, I am not sure if it was  from the fire, or some sort of internal glow fueled by his great wisdom.

“What is your secret?” I asked him.

The Monkey picked up an ice cold  bottle of beer from beside his chair,  put on his headphones and began to sway to some music that my associate and I couldn’t hear, then he said something I will never forget.

“Good Monkey Like Beer Not Like  Banana.”

Want To Know The Easiest Solution? Ask The Lazy Man

Mar 7th, 2010 | Filed under Interesting, Opinions and Perspectives, Work

If you want to know the easiest possible way to do anything… get the Lazy Man to do it.

The lazy man will usually try to avoid any work given to him for as long as possible, in the hope he will have less work given to him, but if he knows he will have to do it eventually he will be undoubtedly thinking about it.

While he procrastinates, his mind will occasionally be focused on the easiest possible way to do the task he knows he has to do, since he repeats this type of thinking on a huge number of occasions throughout his life , he is sort becomes of an expert in this field.

By the time he is actually forced to do the job it will usually be a  well thought out, with a lot of brainpower put into it, and very little physical effort, often done as quickly as possible.

Reclaiming My Digital Images in Google

Mar 3rd, 2010 | Filed under Computers and Internet, Work

Building  a successful website these days  is a very difficult task, this is not 1995 anymore and promoting your products against the 5 billion or so other web-pages out there is a time consuming and often painful effort.

When I first started my website, I wanted very badly to promote my items, and one of the best ways to do this is to submit your products to auction websites such as EBay.

The nice thing about an established website such as EBay is search engines like Google already know who they are and love them. Anything posted on EBay will end up quite quickly on the first page of search engine results. I love  EBay, I have nothing bad to say, just a warning about what I found out recently with letting other websites show your images, and Google Indexing.

EBay allows a seller of a product one free picture with their posting, and unlimited self hosted images. So I like many others used my free image and then used a bunch of my own images I loading strait from my website.

The problem is that my images had not yet been indexed by Google, but once put on E-Bay, they are indexed very quickly. Google for some reason then identifies those images as belonging to E-Bay, not to your website. This means when a user does an Image search on Google for your item, and they click on your Image, they are brought to EBay’s site instead of being brought to yours.

What I would suggest, for start ups to combat this problem is to make a separate folder for images to be used online by other companies, Google can then index both your website image and the one that they feel belongs to EBay.

After taking my images off all the auction websites recently, Google now identifies that those images belong to me. I recently went from one page of image search results  on Google to approximately ten pages.

The customer traffic has increased by more than triple from image searches since I reclaimed all the images as my own.

Mr Jihad T-Shirt – Bearded Bombed and Ready to Blow

Feb 28th, 2010 | Filed under Shirts
Crazy Mr Jihad Shirt

Mr Jihad Shirt Bearded Bombed and Ready to Blow - Click Image $19.99 USD

For too many years now little western children have grown up laughing at Mr Messy. Little Miss Naughty has been used as an example of what not to do, and Little Miss Bad has been seen as a cute joke.

Generally all of the Little People have not been taken seriously by the people of the west.

Now we will give you one Mister character you will not be able to make jokes about, here comes Mr. Jihad.

Yes that is right Infidels we have added a new soldier to our arsenal of little people, and you will have to take it very seriously,  Mr Jihad is on his way.

Lets see you laugh at that !

* Note: Not recommended for airports.

Ching Chong Chai – Rock Paper Scissors to the Death – Funny Shirt

Feb 20th, 2010 | Filed under Shirts

As kids we occasionally played the game Rock Paper Scissors amongst ourselves. It was a decent way to spend short periods of time, and settle our disagreements.

Rock Paper Scissors to the Death Shirt

Rock Paper Scissors to The Death - Click on t-shirt image $17.99 USD

When rock beat scissors, scissors beat paper, or paper beat rock, as children we would laugh and simply try again. This was something that we did almost daily, and no harm ever came from it.

Often however as we grow up, the things that are so simple as children become much more complicated.

As adults the true nature of our actions become apparent to us. Our decisions much more vital.

Rock, Paper or Scissors… which to choose.

Rock Paper Scissors is  in actual proven fact by some guys in Tuktoyaktuk, using seals,  just another way of  acting out our predator within, our evil internal spirit that is always just waiting under our happy, shiny external presence we try and hide from others.

This image shows you the evil that can be done by adults that play children’s games.

The two gangsters incant the game using Chinese so as to have more kung fu or Jedi like abilities, “Ching Chong Chai”

Do not try this at home.