Octopus vs Cassette Tape Shirt

Oct 27th, 2016 | Filed under Artistic, Shirts
Octopus and Cassette

Octopus vs Cassette Tape Shirt – Click Image

As the cassette plunged into the sea, a distracted octopus let free the crab he had been gleefully ripping the limbs off, and set out to bully the new small rectangular invader on his turf.

The aquabully could not resist his sick desire to dominate the invader with his suction leggy, invertebrate octomass. So our octofiend, with stealthy jet powered grace, first moved above the falling cassette, and then spread his grotesque limbs over his prey for degutting.

It first seemed a vicious wet dream for the octobully, he showed a beaky grin as he began to pull tape from the cassette, but as the endless streams of earth destroying plastic spilled out, a slight entanglement ensued, which enraged our antagonist immensely, causing him to increase the rate of disembowelment.

Inevitably karma caught up with the slimy aquaspider, as he was caught up in the web of his evil deed, the bully of the sea was vanquished. At the end, the heroic cassette, was an unwitting savior of the sea.

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Wrapped In My National Flag

Aug 17th, 2016 | Filed under Interesting, Opinions and Perspectives, Rants, Travel

Now and then my memory for one reason or another goes back to something that happened to me a couple of decades ago as I was spending seven months backpacking overland and water through India.

Kerala-Backwaters-on-Houseboat

The previous day I had booked myself on a slow moving four day boat trip through Kerala’s backwaters from Cochin to Quilon. and at eight AM I was picked up at my hotel by a mini van half full of European travelers. As was most always the case in my time traveling through India, the other foreigners were all very friendly, open, and welcoming to one another. We introduced ourselves as we continued onwards to pick up more travelers.

I find that the harder to travel a country is, the closer fellow adventurers seem to get with one another, maybe it is some sort of survival mechanism, and this part of India was indeed a very hard place to travel in.

As the van continued to pick people up, each new member was happily greeted. At one part during the trip as the van was getting full of people and bags, a couple of us had to move into the back area of the van, behind the last seat on the floor, and the bags were piled up in front of us. Everything was going routinely on schedule until the next pickup at another hotel.

God-Spills-Assholes

Mistakes Happen

For some reason this middle aged couple who we came to pick up, found the task of giving the bags to the driver and sitting down in their eagerly awaiting seats, too difficult for them. They were very upset about something, I am not sure if they expected a limousine, or helicopter for the price they paid, but they did not seem to be satisfied with the van. They were busy arguing about the money they paid, and that the van was late, not just with the driver but one of the hotel employees as well. I would assume they had the same ticket we all had, with the price of about forty dollars, for the entire four day trip including a place to sleep and the boat, stamped right on the ticket.

They were arguing in English in a North American accent of some sort, and as a good five minutes went by, a small group of locals started to gather around to see what all this noise was about, the couple seemed to be having some sort of meltdown, perhaps traveling in India was too much for them, it is too much for many. This rude couple was even stooping so low as to point out the flaws in the English the people who were trying to serve them were using. In this part of India, English was their third language after Karnatakan and Hindi.

I am amazed at how patient the Indians can be most of the time, in a lot of countries I visited, individuals would have gotten aggressive back at the rude, loud and aggressive foreigners after such an extended period of time, it would have even escalated to violence in most places, but here it was treated with continued patience.

After what I would assume was ten minutes a Danish girl on our bus was the first to lose patience and shouted to them, “Why don’t you just get a refund, and let the rest of us go?!”

Banksy Feed The World Shirt

Arguing About Forty Dollars For Four Days

I doubt at this point any one of us wanted to spend four days on the boat with these Idiots. The couple quieted down, gave the bags to the driver, and finally got in the van. The bags were taken by the driver to the back of the van, and placed right in front of me…I was shocked…because on these two backpacks, sewn into them, similar to the way I had done myself, were Canadian flags. What embarrassment I felt, how ashamed I was of this.

I kept in mind that they may not be Canadians at all, what I found traveling around Asia in the mid 90s was that most people that claim they are Canadian, once you get to know them are actually Americans draping themselves in our flag thinking they will be more welcomed as they travel, this was the norm at this time, and may still be. Normally this false identity did not bother me because the majority of Americans I was meeting doing this were acting politely enough at the time that I would have welcome them to use our identity.

I shouted to the front of the van “Where in Canada are you guys from?”

The man replied “Vancouver” (this just happens to be my hometown.)

“Oh yeah, where in Vancouver are you from?” I asked them.

They paused for a bit and said “The main part”. “The main part” is not an answer any true Vancouverite would give, we separate Vancouver into either North Van, East Van, The West End, Kits or many other specific parts, and of course most people that say they are from Vancouver are actually from the surrounding suburbs…none of us are from “The Main Part”, highly suspicious. Maybe they could be from Vancouver, I mean Canada is not completely devoid of assholes after all.

Stephen Harper Touched By God

I Didn’t Vote For Him

It is not  just our southern neighbors who occasionally piggyback on our “honorable” nationality, sometimes posing as us as they traveled, sometimes pushing a Canadian puppet forward into the international media as an attempt bring trust to an agenda so shady they can not simply promote it themselves, but people of other nationalities also try to benefit from our perceived honor, many internet scammers also pretend they are Canadians, for instance most “Canadian Online Pharmacies” are not actually owned by Canadians, nor are they selling Canadian made pharmaceuticals, again they just drape themselves in our flag and pretend to be Canadian. Some international criminals also tend to hire Canadian lawyers to represent them at things such as human rights tribunals hoping that it might help their case. Quite often on internet forums, some people also pretend they are Canadian for some strange reason, particularly during debates on the US medical system, telling either false horror stories of how the Canadian medical system works, or over emphasizing the rare occasions where things do go wrong. Canada’s honorability on the international stage has diminished greatly over the last couple of decades, not just because of the many false Canadians, but also sadly because some of our recent Canadian politicians have not exactly been the best people…we have some things to be ashamed of already without all the fake Canadians to bring us down further.


Robin Williams Singing Blame Canada by farzaneh182

Now back to my story:

To the shock of the German guy who was sitting beside me on the van floor in the back, I reached into my pocket and pulled out a knife, I then moved it over to the flag on the bag, and as I began to pick out the stitches he smiled and nodded at me, so for the next few minutes as we drove I picked out every last stitch that held that flags on, then took the flags and put them safely in my pocket for later disposal. I didn’t know if they were Canadians or not, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to let them travel the world representing where I come from. They are nothing like the types of people I like to be associated with.

I would assume the rude couple had felt our ill feelings towards them, because after our twenty minute drive to the docks was over, there was relief in the air, as the couple decided not to take the boat trip with us after all, and instead took a taxi off to go spread their misery elsewhere.

People who travel are not only guests in a foreign country, but also representatives of where they come from. Not only were these two spreading to the people of India the idea that Canadians are assholes, but also to all the other foreigners they met. If you do not have any sort of respect for others, as these two did not, please just stay in your own damn country rather than spreading your assholery around the planet, and if they were Canadian after all, which they may have been, then on behave of Canada, I apologize for the assholes we sometimes produce. I just could not let them continue their travels wrapped in my national flag.


The Above Clip Features American Actor Matthew Segal, Wearing A Canadian Flag.

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Please! Bandit Squirrel Acorn Robbery Shirt

Aug 7th, 2016 | Filed under Poetry, Shirts
Bandit Squirrel Please Shirt

Please Shirt – Click on Image

One full moon lit night, in my old wild west town, while on the way back home with dinner, I began to hear an unusual stirring in the trees, that did not match the usual evening breeze.

I sat up on my hind legs and turned my ears, something was making my whiskers tickle.

Out of the side of my left eye, I thought I saw a shadowy form drop from a tree.Then a tumble weed began rolling out towards me, there seemed to be something pacing itself inside of it.

Out jumped a squirrel with a bandits mask and a gun, demanding my acorn, I refused. I would not give up my beloved nut.

The bandit began swirling his hands in the air towards me, and I could see pixie dust like stars in the air around him. Getting brighter, and brighter, just when I thought he would explode, he spoke the magic word. “Please”.

I dropped the acorn and ran.

Please Squirrel Shirt

There once was a squirrel named Earl
who liked to wear short skirts and twirl
the girls got excited
and tried hard to hide it
but when men looked upon it they hurled

Weapon Peace Sign Shirt

Aug 3rd, 2016 | Filed under Opinions and Perspectives, Shirts
Weapon Peace Shirt

Weapons Make Peace Sign Shirt – Click Image

The idea that peace can be brought about by war is about as stupid as thinking that only fire can bring on the cold. Though the end of a war does of course result in peace, before the war began, peace was of course there as well.
Warmongers these days seem to follow the: “This is so stupid, it just might work!”, train of thought. The warfare justification is often twisted into some sort of reverse logic, weapons are given to rebels to create peace, first attacks on foreign soil are called “preemptive strikes”, people defending their homes are called insurgents. Meanwhile the killers on both sides of a conflict think a higher being is exclusively on their side, yet a greater possibility is that any divine power probably dislikes all sides enough to force them into the hellish combat in the first place.
This shirt shows an image of a peace sign made of various weapons of war, this is probably the only time you will actually see weapons creating peace.

Weapon Peace Shirt

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The Matter Of It’s Value

May 8th, 2016 | Filed under Interesting, Opinions and Perspectives, Rants

It is amazing how something with seemingly so little value, might actually be worth so much.

I want to tell you a short story about something of value that was almost taken from my home recently, I say almost because I caught them putting in their bag as they were getting ready to leave. I am not really sure if I would have seen it again, maybe, but then again maybe not.

I first bought this item out of necessity, I needed it bad enough to get dressed, leave the comfort of my home, take an hour long journey, during which I slightly risked my life as I dodged cars down a kilometer long, busy, narrow road with no sidewalks, before jumping on and off of public transport, where I then scaled six sets of stairs, eventually found and purchased the item, and then needed to repeat the entire semi epic journey back home.

You are probably wondering what this item is, and how much it cost me, it will probably disappoint you when I say what it is somewhere during this paragraph, but what I want you to do at this point is think about all the effort, calories, time, and thankfully not life and limb spent questing for this necessary item. It’s monetary value is worth far less than those things, but then again nothing has more value than time, life and limb. Alas, it was just a lowly mouse pad…My mouse pad, my only mouse pad, it cost me about eight dollars, and has some weak sentimental value since it has been with me for about 6 years now, but most importantly, I need it.

Perspective

But you see, this is only part of the problem, because if I had not caught her folding it, and putting it in her bag, just think what the future would hold for me when I once again needed my f^@%ing mouse pad. I would of course go looking around the house for it, first in it’s regular place in my laptop bag, and then at some of the other places I may put it time to time when I am too lazy to put it away, maybe on top of a shelf or filing cabinet…then what would happen, I would probably repeat that search another time, and then start working my way through the whole room looking for it, thoroughly, maybe even in some dusty places, and then of course I would probably move onto other rooms… how fun would that be? Eventually after much searching, cursing and scratching of my head, I would likely tire of my quest, but then would probably pick up the searching again sporadically for the next couple of days, because I need the damn thing, and of course I am ABSOLUTELY SURE IT IS IN THE HOUSE SOMEWHERE !!!! ARGGGGGGHHH

After I completely and finally gave up on finding the pad , I would then need to once again repeat my epic travel of over an hour to purchase a replacement, and of course another eight dollars.

You know what she said to me when I caught her…”Oh come on, it’s just a stupid mouse pad.” then she gave me an angry look, as though this item we both needed had no value at all. She also told me she thought I gave it to her.  I try to give her the benefit of the doubt that she actually did think I gave it to her, which of course I did not, and would not. Since I need it and all, and she never asked.

I try not to get mad at her, I am pretty sure she is just a bit like the many other people on this earth who don’t take the time to thoroughly think through the consequences of their actions. When she took it out of convenience for herself, she had just never thought of my hard earned ownership, in fact, she probably just never thought of it from my side at all.

I will just let the whole thing go.

Though I feel we both have a very different perspective on the matter of it’s value.