Music Television For Monkey Shirt

Music Television Form Monkeys Shirt MTV Chimp

Music Television For Monkeys - Click Image $17.99 USD

Every man’s life has a purpose, a divine calling given at birth, most never discover the meaning of their life, but mine was revealed to me one night in a dream.

I was cruising down the muddy banks of the Ugandan Nile on a raft steered by a smiling chimp. There are hippos, elephants, buffaloes, and crocodiles in the water. One mistake by the chimp will bring certain doom.

After a time the chimp’s smile faded, and he started to steer suicidaly towards the animals. In desperation I began to sing Row Row Row The Boat, this made the chimp smile, and steer towards safety.

When I woke, I knew I needed to make monkeys happy. I immediatly went to work on Music Television for Monkey. Thankfully, now when I dream, the chimp always smiles.

Don’t Juggle Chainsaws – Stupid Monkey Shirt

Don't Juggle Chainsaws Monkey Shirt

Don't Juggle Chainsaws Shirt - Click Image $17.99

Hey monkey, come here little monkey, I got a banana for you, good boy. Now if you want to eat this banana, you got to do me a favor. See those two chainsaws over there? No, don’t look at my hand, look over there, yes there, see those two chainsaws there, pick them up. Pick them up, yes both of them, great, good monkey. Now bring them here.

No don’t pull the strings, don’t start them, Geeze, turn them off! Switch them off!

No, don’t throw them, stop throwing them! Idiot monkey! What are you doing?

Oh great, nice job you imbecile! Stupid half-wit doofus monkey. I told you not to do that, see what happens when you throw chainsaws around. How are you going to eat your banana now Mr. Smarty Pants?

Don’t Juggle Chainsaws.

I’m A Slow Learner Shirt – Monkey With Dynamite

I'm A Slow Learner

I'm A Slow Learner Shirt - Funny Monkey Shirt $19.99

Dude, give the monkey a match.

Oh come on man, you know it’s going to be funny, and look at the little guy he really wants it.

Yeah, I know it hurt him before, but he wants to do it again. Why would you deny him his fun? How can you resist those cute little eyes?

Don’t you see how he is looking at you? Just give him a light.

Cool, good job on the match. Now he is smiling. You have made him happy.

Look at him, the silly monkey, what a slow learner he is, he doesn’t realize what is about to happen, he is just excited to hear the firecracker go bang.

This is going to be really funny.

Good Monkey Like Beer, Not Like Banana T-Shirt

On March 8, 2010, my college Joe and I were brought to the Tuktoyaktuk headquarters of the NWO to have a meeting with “The Monkey”

Part of my work as a traveling photo journalist working on secret contract for the NWO, is of course the study of monkeys. In this case actually a Chimpanzee, who is not really a monkey, but this one believes he is so we wont argue with him. We were told The Monkey had a message to share with the world, and that we were here to collect, and publish it.

Upon arrival, we were guided through heavy security to a large room on top of the fortress.  We waited a few  minutes, then were instructed by a large heavily armed guard that The Monkey would see us now.

Funny Good Monkey Like Beer Not Like Banana Shirt

Good Monkeys Like Beer and Headphones, Not Bananas Shirt - $19.99 click on image

We followed the guard into  a very large room that almost  took up an entire floor of the huge fortress, books covered the walls, and there was a large lit fireplace with a reading lamp next to an beautiful leather armchair.

The Monkey was in the chair  stoking  the fire a bit with a black metal rod, after a moment, he looked up at us with his wise, all knowing  eyes.

He said, “You know, it has always been to my belief, after meeting with my fellow monkey companions, that in order to become above average, and considered a ” Good monkey”, you must do things differently than most of the masses.

The monkey took a long pause, and looked thoughtfully around the room, there was a shine in his eyes, I am not sure if it was  from the fire, or some sort of internal glow fueled by his great wisdom.

“What is your secret?” I asked him.

The Monkey picked up an ice cold  bottle of beer from beside his chair,  put on his headphones and began to sway to some music that my associate and I couldn’t hear, then he said something I will never forget.

“Good Monkey Like Beer Not Like  Banana.”

Stop Following Me – Funny Tee

Funny Stop Following Me Shirt

Stop Following Me! - Click Image $17.99

All these evolution diagrams are starting to wear on me, man I swear I am starting to have nightmares that everywhere I go there are monkeys and cavemen following me.

Sometimes I am just walking down the road and I totally feel like I am being watched.

What if all these evolution diagrams I see are true? What if I am being followed right now?  Man that would be really crazy.

I mean it can’t be that there are always a line of monkeys and cavemen etc behind me, I mean if I look in the mirror I only see me right.

Hmmm wait a minute, all the other humanoids in those pictures are actually smaller than the man…that would mean that… if they were behind me, and I looked in the mirror…I wouldn’t be able to see them right?

Oh no! What if they are really behind me now?

OK I will just turn around really fast and have a look

1….2 ……3   ARGGGGGHHHH! They are Behind me !!!

Stop Following Me!
We hope you enjoy the shirt you can click on it for close ups, and to make a purchase if you like.

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