Paws Shirt

Paws Shirt Kitten Jaws

Paws Shirt – Click Image

After a long night of very heavy tequila drinking with my friends at the beach, I decided I should sober myself up a bit before driving home, so I took off all my clothing, ran into the ocean, and swam out into the dark deep sea.

I enjoyed the feeling of freedom I had, and just swam and swam further out into the calm ocean. I felt at one with the water, like we were both one living breathing organism all wrapped in a warm blanket by the fire enjoying an iced cappuccino. Then all of a sudden I heard

duunnn dunnn… duuuunnnn duun… duuunnnnnnnn dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnn dunnnn

This really scared me so I swam faster.

Moments later, coming up from below me, I though I heard the sound of a giant purring kitten, and then… everything went dark.

Thug Life Cat Shirt

Thug Life Cat Shirt

 

“Thug Cat” was born in an overpopulated alley in an overpopulated city. As a young cat, he grew up without the luxuries of a home. Instead of having a toy mouse filled with catnip to chew on, Thug had live rats filled with malice who sometimes chewed on him. Thug Cat’s usual scratching post was climbing up the sides of the old rusty dumpsters behind Tony’s pizzeria.

Fights often broke out in the dumpster over the food. A young Thug Cat was never strong enough to overpower other cats for a taste of fish, however as Thug got older, he grew into a rather large cat, who then learned how to stand on his hind legs, wear a hoodie, and carry a bat, things changed.

Thug Cat now takes what he wants.

 

Thug Life Cat Shirt

The Joker Yoda Shirt

Yoda Joker Shirt

Serious Why So ? Click Image

There I was, minding my own business, casually wandering around the jungles of Borneo, when all of a sudden this funny looking orangutan jumps out of the bush wearing a potato sack, and starts talking to me.

“Know how I got these scars want to, hmmm? Drinker, my father was, one night, crazier than usual, he is. Hmmm. To defend herself mommy gets lightsaber. He likes not that. Not one bit. So to her, with me watching, he takes lightsaber, laughing while he does, to me turns and he says. Yes, hmmm. “Serious why so Yoda?” My mouth he sticks the saber in. Yeesssssss. “Put a smile on that face, let us!” And…Serious why so?”

“So me ask you now, since here you are, ever dance with a wookie in the pale moon light did you, hmm?”

WTF?! I turned and ran.

Yoda Joker Shirt

Surfer Trooper Shirt

Surfer Storm Trooper Star Wars Shirt

Surfer Trooper Shirt – Click Image

I have occasionally struggled with the meaning of my life, but sometimes it’s meaning is clear.

I was grown in a lab, as were my brothers before me. My life’s ambitions were laid out for me as a child. I would serve my master, and fight for my brothers.

At times I wonder why I am so willing to kill and die for the needs of my master, but I’ve never had any desire to rebel from him, my brothers serve him, and that is good enough for me. Though my masters have change over time, and my friends have become enemies, it is all right, this is my life, and this is how I live it.

When I have some time away from the demands of constant war, I take my surfboard and go enjoy riding the waves. I can understand the waves, they served the earth, as I do my masters, we have a connection that is as deep as my soul.

Surfer Trooper T-Shirt

Danger Panda Shirt

Dangerous Panda Tee

Danger Panda T-Shirt – Click Image

Danger Panda was arrested nearly a decade ago as he was found with his friends robbing, and destroying a local drug store. During the arrest his friends were killed for attacking the police. One of the arresting officers mistook Danger Panda for a victim in the robbery, and as he tried to offer him help, Danger Panda murdered him.

Danger Panda was a psychotic, drug-ridden, and all together bad teenage Panda. He was thrown in a dark hole, tried, and sentenced to execution by lethal injection. He was injected with a substance and told it would be fatal. Instead of dying, however, he woke up in a white jail cell, with an intelligence officer, who informs him that an alternate to execution exists: he can receive covert government training as an assassin. He accepted the bid, was rigorously trained, and returned to society as a seemingly normal and gentle civilian. He had evolved from simply being a bad panda, into a bad ass panda.

Danger Panda Shirt

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