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Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

 

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

 

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

 

When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.

 

Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!

 

On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.