Jul
31
Giraffes United Against Ceiling Fans Shirt
For many years, humans have chosen to build their houses around us. Though their roofs are low, and unwelcoming, we have tolerated their presence.
We allowed humans to walk freely through our home, never bopping them with our horns or stepping on them with our hoofs, and yet the humans covered their ceilings with horrible, neck damaging, dangerous fans.
We deserve mutual respect, and demand our safety!
We will bow down in their presence no longer!
We will not be afraid to walk into human’s homes with our heads held high, as soon the fans will be ripped from the roof and crushed under our hooves!
Rise up and unite my fellow giraffes, protect thy neck, and ban the blades!
Prepare for extinction, evolutionary freaks!!
Signed,
Man
@Mulled Vine
We know where you live “Man” and if you don’t want hundreds of giraffes stomping on your house, defecating on your car, and bopping you around with their horns in a game of giraffe polo, destroy your ceiling fan, and have 100 apricots ready by noon for our lunch.
“This is not a request, we do not forget, and we do not forgive, we are united, for our cause is Just.”