Jan
07

The Incredible Hypno Monkey Shirt

Funny Hypno Monkey Shirt

The Incredable Hypno Monkey Shirt - Click Image $19.99 USD

Since time began, humans have felt an urge to control others.

Unknown to most, complete control was discovered almost 2000 years ago by Dr Fu Manchu of China. Dr Fu took our attraction to circular objects, the color yellow, and almost magnetic focus on zoo primates, to created the ultimate hypnotic image. Too powerful to be shared with the masses, the knowledge was nearly lost over time.

We now bring that image to you, on this shirt. The yellow swirl causes what is known as “The Whirlpool Effect” drawing the viewers eyes directly into the centre of the diagram, a chimpanzee at its heart, reverts viewers to a more primal, less complex, state of mind. Seeing the chimp’s headphones will then cause observers to listen intensely for your commands.

Wearing this shirt could make you achieve things impossible to achieved without it.

Mar
09

Good Monkey Like Beer, Not Like Banana T-Shirt

On March 8, 2010, my college Joe and I were brought to the Tuktoyaktuk headquarters of the NWO to have a meeting with “The Monkey”

Part of my work as a traveling photo journalist working on secret contract for the NWO, is of course the study of monkeys. In this case actually a Chimpanzee, who is not really a monkey, but this one believes he is so we wont argue with him. We were told The Monkey had a message to share with the world, and that we were here to collect, and publish it.

Upon arrival, we were guided through heavy security to a large room on top of the fortress.  We waited a few  minutes, then were instructed by a large heavily armed guard that The Monkey would see us now.

Funny Good Monkey Like Beer Not Like Banana Shirt

Good Monkeys Like Beer and Headphones, Not Bananas Shirt - $19.99 click on image

We followed the guard into  a very large room that almost  took up an entire floor of the huge fortress, books covered the walls, and there was a large lit fireplace with a reading lamp next to an beautiful leather armchair.

The Monkey was in the chair  stoking  the fire a bit with a black metal rod, after a moment, he looked up at us with his wise, all knowing  eyes.

He said, “You know, it has always been to my belief, after meeting with my fellow monkey companions, that in order to become above average, and considered a ” Good monkey”, you must do things differently than most of the masses.

The monkey took a long pause, and looked thoughtfully around the room, there was a shine in his eyes, I am not sure if it was  from the fire, or some sort of internal glow fueled by his great wisdom.

“What is your secret?” I asked him.

The Monkey picked up an ice cold  bottle of beer from beside his chair,  put on his headphones and began to sway to some music that my associate and I couldn’t hear, then he said something I will never forget.

“Good Monkey Like Beer Not Like  Banana.”

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