Almost two decades ago, while I was traveling around Vietnam, I came across this phrase in a book I was reading, “It’s none of your business what anybody thinks of you”. After contemplating the phrase for quite some time, I ended up adopted it into my life, and through it I have made quite a few very positive changes. On occasion I have advised others of its wisdom, and usually have been met with arguments rather than acceptance. I am told with great certainty that I must care about what others think of me, but how can I explain to the majority that this is untrue? This is just the way most people think, but definitely not the best way to live your life.
Now don’t go and read this wrong or something and think that I don’t care about others, this is not true at all, I care deeply about many people, and even mankind in general, I just don’t care what their opinions of me are. In the immortal words of Popeye, “I am what I am”
He Is What He Is, And That’s All That He Is
When I was younger I was always looking to others for the definition of cool, I wanted to wear the same types of jeans, shoes, and sunglasses as them, I only wore the clothing with the “cool” brand names, used to get my hair cut by the same people who cut all the other cool kids hair, exaggerated a story now and then, smoked a couple of cigarettes, and even used to do incredibly stupid things such as carry my brand name backpack only on my right shoulder and not two shoulders every day, just because that was the “cool” way to do it.
The most damaging part of this “quest for cool” comes when we turn into adults however, and start using credit cards. So many people seem to go into debt these days, just to try and seem like a winner, many of these people buy nothing but overpriced clothing, the latest phones, and often buy a very expensive car or house they can not afford. Some people end up going so deep into debt, that they become stressed out wrecks, which is felt by all those around them, they often become bitter individuals people try and avoid. In fact, they eventualy become the very definition of “not cool”.
Some people try to use lies to try and impress others, the history they give you is a sham, they are nothing but regular people pretending to be better than they are, and striving to appear better than you. The fiction these competitors of life tell the world, if they are believed, raises the apparent bar of success for everyone around them, assuming those people also subscribe to the belief that they need to impress others.
Some of the real jerks will try and pull other people a step or two down on their imagined competitive ladder, to place themselves on top, where they feel they need to be. In their minds they are the winner, but no so much in the minds of those around, who usually choose not to speak up, afraid they themselves might end up on the verbal chopping block.
The most insecure of all may use all of these methods to try and “Win”.
I know this may be surprising to some, but how cool you are is actually about how relaxed and in control you are of the various situations in your life, not the logo on your shirt, or the lies you weave.
The easiest way to be cool is just to save your money, don’t tell stories you think people want to hear, don’t be bad to others, and express your opinions. Even if your opinions are not popular ones, people tend to prefer being with interesting people that have actual beliefs rather the common, stressed out walking billboard type of competitive “Yes Men” that are trying so hard to fit in.
We Cool, Cuz We Got The Logos and the Bling
I do agree there actually are some pretty good reasons to occasionally care about what some others think about you, for instance, forgetting your manners might cause some people to try and punch you in the nose. Also its very hard to get a promotion at work, or a new life partner if you are not willing to put on a nice outfit and comb your hair, but most of the time, why would you care about what others think?
Some people even care about the opinions of strangers, you must admit its a little nuts to care about people who don’t even know your name, right? I mean you probably will never see them again anyhow, so what is the point in impressing them?
Although your true friends will always be your friends regardless of your apparent stature, you should not become too strange, your friends will likely still care what others think, and if you start wearing shirts made from newspapers, and pants made from garbage bags, they might be a bit shy to be seen with you in public. This is not an idea to take to the extreme, but thinking this way to a large degree can be very beneficial to your life.
It’s None Of Your Business What Other People Think Of You
