Your Girlfriend My Girlfriend Shirt

Your Girlfriend My Girlfriend Shirt

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Wow, that’s a nice new car you have there, thanks for showing me that. Oh,  a nice new big screen HDTV at home too?

Your big promotion at work sure does get you a lot of cool stuff.

Yes I know you are bigger than me, no need to point that out, even a two year old can see that, you do realize UFC bouts are not won with the weigh in though right?

Hey man I am starting to see a pattern forming here. You are obviously pretty high on yourself right now, and normally I wouldn’t mind, but you seem to be insinuating you are better than me or something, so before you go thinking that you are an Alpha male, and I am a Beta, I just want you to have a good look at something here.

That is a picture of your girlfriend, and this is a picture of my girlfriend.

Nuff Said?

Turtle Does the Butt Dance

One day a long time ago, when I was a young teenager I decided to came home from the local mall with a couple of baby turtles. I enjoyed watching them swim around in their fish tank, and would often let them out to run around the house. They were cute little guys that would look out at me quite a bit, and seemed to recognize me as their friend.

Turtles for the most part are actually pretty good pets, but I found cleaning their tank a bit of a tedious chore, the longer I had them, the longer the gaps between their cleaning became. Eventually the tank got so bad I just couldn’t bring myself to try and clean it anymore, and the turtles so filthy I no longer wanted to touch them. I was afraid I might let them die as I did my sea monkeys when I was younger, and still being very fond of them I found looking at them swimming in their muck a bit depressing. Thankfully the pet store which sold them to me was willing to take them back.

Having watched the cleaning of this turtle in the video below, I now realize it didn’t need to be such a chore after all, if only I had thought of using a tooth brush.



Reverse Millionaire

As I continue to save some of the little money I earn, in the hope of one day becoming a millionaire, I would like to share with you another concept of financial wealth most people have never heard of before, the reverse millionaire.

I had a work mate introduce me to this idea almost a decade ago, he said:

When I die, I hope I owe a million dollars to the bank, because then I will know that I had spent all my money, and had also spent another million dollars along the way.”

What an interesting concept, Here I am approaching middle age, and I don’t know yet if I have even made a million dollars in my life, certainly not after tax.

Having thought about this a bit, I realized the concept of becoming a reverse millionaire is actually easier than you may think.

 

How To Become A Reverse Millionaire:
(Do Not Try This At Home)

 

Step #1 – Borrow a Million Dollars

Option 1 – The Sneaky Borrow

You would need to get a job, preferable a good one, all the while using several credit cards wisely by always paying off the debt. Your responsible use will cause the credit card companies to continually up the credit limits on the cards as you prove yourself to be an upstanding customer. You will find it is not actually that difficult to get the credit limit of a credit card up over $20,000, and with hard work and savings, you could quite possible get them as high as $50,000 – $100,000 each. You should also get lines of credit, and multiple bank accounts with overdrafts at as many banks as possible.

Several high limit credit cards from several banks, as well as your lines of credit and bank accounts overdrafts all cashed out on a single day, could quite easily, and quickly get you the million dollars in cash you are looking for.

Legality = Questionable

I wonder if this is legal. If it is, and too many people try it I am sure there would soon be some sort of “Reverse Millionaire Law”, maybe you could get away with it, but you might want to consult a lawyer first.

Option 2 – The Hard Work And Saving Method

This is the way your parents and school teachers probably told you was the way to get rich, and in the end would lead to the biggest pile of cash.

Go to College, get a steady job, work hard, invest wisely, and save enough money that the bank doesn’t mind you borrowing another million dollars.

Legality = Legal

This will probably never happen to me, though I have gone to college, and do save, but the getting a steady job part unfortunately is my fall down. I just can’t stand “Working for the Man” more than a few years in a row.

Option 3 – The High Interest Method
Reverse Millionaire Compound Interest Graph

Rather than doing the hard work yourself, you can simply let the magic of compound interest do the work for you, by my calculations if you can get enough credit at the age of 25 to borrow just $6,500 at your average credit card rate of 20.5%, with no additional work needed, you will become a reverse millionaire by the age of 50.

Legality = Legal

Hmmmm, I don’t think this was exactly what my work friend meant by this. I think what he was talking about was actually spending an additional million dollars before he died, this is more about the man sticking it to you rather than you “sticking it to the man”. Though definitely not the method of choice, it is something to consider.

Step #2  – Going Beyond Broke

Assuming you did not pick Option #3 above, you now have one million dollars of the banks money, as well as a bunch of your own, this does not yet make you a Reverse Millionaire. To become a true Reverse Millionaire, you must liquidate any assets you have, and spend all of it before the bank takes it away from you.

For myself I am pretty sure I would want to get out of whatever country I did this in as fast as possible, so I would probably spend a large chunk of money initially on something like a yacht, to carry myself, my money and possible a couple of supermodels somewhere beyond the banks reach. The yacht would then be liquidated as quickly as possible into cash or crypto, before the bank put a lien on it. I could then commence my decade or so of endless partying somewhere in the tropics until finally becoming a Reverse Millionaire.

Reverse-Millionaire-Success

Happy Happy Joy Joy Song – Video and Lyrics

Having just written the long and serious post that follows this one, I thought I would try and lighten the mood up a little bit here with a little bit of happiness and joy, well to be more specific two parts happiness followed by two parts of joy,  happy happy, joy joy.

If you find this happiness recipe a bit confusing for you, I have a little educational video here from my two good Canadian friends  Ren Höek and Stimpson J. Cat  to teach you how to be happy. I am told they can also teach your grandmother to suck eggs.

Best get your pen and paper ready just in case you need to take  notes:

Happy Happy Joy Joy Lyrics

Hello boys and girls, this is your old pal, Stinky Wizzleteats
This is a song about a whale, NO this is a song about being happy
Thats right!
Its the happy happy, joy joy song!

Happy happy, joy joy
Happy happy, joy joy
Happy happy, joy joy
Happy happy, joy joy
Happy happy, joy joy
Happy happy, joy joy
Happy happy, joy joy joy

I dont think your happy enough, thats right!
I’ll teach you to be happy!
I’ll teach your grandmother to suck eggs!
Now boys and girls, lets try it again…

Happy happy, joy joy
Happy happy, joy joy
Happy happy, joy joy
Happy happy, joy joy
Happy happy, joy joy
Happy happy, joy joy
Happy happy, joy joy joy!

Iff-in you ain`t the grandaddy of all liars!
The little critters of nature…they dont know that they’re ugly.
Thats very funny! A fly marrying a bumble bee!
I told you I’d shoot, but you didn’t believe me!
WHY didn’t you believe me?

Happy happy, joy joy
Happy happy, joy joy
Happy happy, joy joy
Happy happy, joy joy
Happy happy, joy joy
Happy happy, joy joy
Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy, joy joy joyyyy!

“Billy’s” Balloon – A Concerning Fear

When we think of balloons, we usually think of simple multicolored objects of fun. We know that children enjoy them, but we overlook the obvious dangers of the device.

Not only are they made of highly expandable rubber, or latex, which when given to a child is often punctured and exploded, causing dangerous flying debris, possible hearing damage and leaving the child with a choking hazard in his reach, but there are other serious dangers unknown to most of us.

This video shows yet another reason why children should not be left alone with balloons.

Billy’s Balloon

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