Where is the Karma ?

I am often pleasantly surprised when I open my e-mail and notice a new Facebook friend request from someone I knew in what almost seems like a past life to me. I left Canada pretty much about 16 years ago now. I have been back several times, but other than family, I don’t really have much contact with my “Old Life”.

Anyhow today I received a Facebook friend request from someone I did not accept. This person used to be my friend, I actually enjoyed his company, and found him to be a good laugh. We used to play on the same soccer team together and my father was the coach. We picked him up at his pretty much every Saturday for halve a decade through my childhood until I was about thirteen. At thirteen I had a nasty break of my arm that required multiple surgery, and was not able to do an sports for about a year. I did not see him for a couple of years because we attended different schools.

This changed a bit when we got older, we both were fifteen and in High School together. We had no classes together but would often pass each other in the halls. One day I was walking down the stairs to go to lunch and for a flash instant I saw his face, as he soundly drove his Knee into my balls. It was a direct hit, and one of the most painful memories of my life. He hit them so hard they receded into my body, inside the pelvis.

karma

I staggered my way to the washroom, and once out of sight of the herding lunch mass, I let my pain go, screaming in agony. Luckily there was a guy that was in the washroom that was helpful to me that actually knew of a cure for it, to drop yourself hard on your heels several times until they return to their rightful place.

So this asshole invited me as a friend, he must be a total psychopath to think that I wanted to be his friend after this event. I never bother to ask him why he did this, I had no interest in sorting out our relationship, I wished him ill, and at this point in my life I was not brave enough to pound him until he was really sorry for what he did. With a friend like this I would of course no longer need enemies.

What would possess a guy like this to ask for my friendship? This is just simply not right, what is wrong with his thought process to think he could do such a thing for no explained reason and then suddenly ask for my friendship twenty two years later.

So here comes the part about the Karma, after just ignoring him, and not accepting his friendship, I later went back to my deleted e-mail folder, and opened up his profile. He seems to be doing very well he is an accomplished international artist with a house near the beach, I now think he just wanted to possibly rub his apparent success in my face.

I wonder if the people who buy his art are influenced by his sociopathic paintings?

Shouldn’t a guy like be wearing an orange jumpsuit and picking up garbage with no pay on the side of the highway? Instead of living on the beach and successfully working for himself selling art of all things?

Now I am not disappointed in my life, I have traveled very extensively, have had lot of experiences that few have ever had, and have done this through my own economic gains, not handouts. I have dated beautiful women including several beautiful models that have appeared in magazines such as Elle, and Mcleans, I now have a wonderful child, am happily in love, and run my own business which I can live comfortably off of. I have never sucker punched or kicked or kneed anyone, let alone someone that was supposed to be a friend.

Still though I wonder where the Karma is in this, maybe he will get his just deserves in the next life, I don’t know. Maybe one day I will meet him on some stairs somewhere, and blindside him with a knee in the nuts to deliver his well deserved Karma myself.

The Communist Party Shirt

The Communist Party Shirt

The Communist Party Shirt-Click Image $17.99 USD

As a journalist, I often have to go to places that could end up getting me flagged on some sort of watch list.

I attended a meeting recently, don’t mean to name drop, but in attendance there was  none other than Vladimir Lenin, Mao Zedong, Fidel Castro, Karl Marx, and Joseph Stalin.

It was quite a lively affair, there was a vodka spiked punch, party hats, lamp shades, and Cuban cigars.

I must admit when these guys all get together it can be quite entertaining.

I took a photo of that night, and placed it on this t-shirt, you can have a look below.

There are more pictures of the event if you click on the image.

Hooray Its The Communist Party ! Anyone have a party hat ? Wee this punch sure is strong, hey Mau did you bring any fortune cookies? Yes Castro I will trade them for a cigar ! Weeeee !

Mount Rushmore Rocks

This is possibly the most important story of my life or anyone else’s for that matter.

I have often wondered what all the American Presidents sitting up there on Mount Rushmore would say if they could see the current state of their nation.

With the enormous curiosity that grew inside me ever since I was a  child and first  saw images of this amazing mountain sculpture. I packed my bag, grabbed my passport, reporters notebook, camera, recorder, and  air ticket.  Then literally  ran off to the airport to get this incredible story.

I won’t bore you with the details of my eighty seven hour flight, and ten week drive to the mountain, but let me just say,  I will never eat another kit-kat with my right hand ever again.

Upon arriving to this historic and amazing place, a piece of wonderful nature and art combined, I set up my camera, and recorder, got out my notepad, and prepared to document this once in a lifetime event.

I have placed my work below for you to have a look at the amazing and important events that transpired.

Mount Rushmore I'm Stoned Dude We Rock Funny Shirt - Click to see more or buy $17.99 USD

Washington and Lincon Share a Message T-Shirt - Click Image $17.99 USD

Funny Olympic Martial Arts Fighting Shirt – Karate Kid Tee

Funny Martial Arts Competition Shirt

Olympic Martial Arts Fighting Shirt - Click on Image $17.99

Karate Kid Training:

Miyagi: First, you wash all the car. Then wax. Wax on…

Daniel: Hey, why do I have to…?

[Daniel wonders if Miyagi is picking on him just like all the kids at school do.]

Miyagi: Ah ah! Remember deal! No questions!

Daniel: Yeah, but…

[Daniel begins to wonder why he is such a loser]

Miyagi: Hai!

[makes some circular gestures with hands]

Miyagi: Wax on, right hand. Wax off, left hand. Wax on, wax off. Breathe in through nose, out the mouth. Wax on, wax off. Don’t forget breathe, very important.

[Miyagi: walks away, still making circular motions with hands]

[Daniel in protest tries to stop breathing, but cant because he is such a loser]

Miyagi: Wax on, wax off. Wax on, wax off.

Real Martial Arts School Training (Where the popular kids go):

Kreese: We do not train to be merciful here. Mercy is for the weak. Here, in the streets, in competition: A man confronts you, he is the enemy. An enemy deserves no mercy.

[Kreese thinks he is cool, and wants to beat up some of the kids in his class later for fun]

Daniel arrives to the fight with his new wax on wax off skills

Daniel: All right, so what are the rules here?

Miyagi: Don’t know. First time you, first time me.

[Daniel thinks WTF]

Daniel: Well, I figured you knew about this stuff. I figured you went to these before. Oh great, I’m dead. I am dead. You told me you fought a lot.

[Daniel thinks he is going to die]

Miyagi: For life, not for points.

[Miyagi also thinks Daniel is going to die]

Daniel Walks towards his doom

Daniel: Where am I, this ring over here?

[Daniel thinks he is going to die soon]

Miyagi: Hai. Number three.

[Miyagi tries to hold back a smile, knowing Daniel is in for it]

Daniel: What’s that guy kneeling like that for?

Miyagi: Don’t know.

[Miyagi knows what he is kneeling for, he is praying for forgiveness for the things he is going to do to Daniel]

Daniel: Don’t you know anything you can tell me?

Miyagi: Hai. No get hit.

Kreese: Bobby – I want him out of commission.

Bobby: But Sensei, I can beat this guy!

Kreese: I don’t want him beaten.

Bobby: But I’ll be disqualified!

The opponents bow.

[Bobby shuts out all outside destractions, concentrats on Daniel, thinks through several fight scenarioes in his mind, remembers his training]

[Daniel prepares to Wax off]

They both assume fighting stances.

The fight begins.

Bobby kicks off Daniels head.

[Daniel wonders why he is such a loser]

UFC Fight Tee

Karate Kid Gets It Shirt

The actual story behind The Karate Kid, non hollywood version:

Karate Kid Training:

Miyagi: First, you wash all the car. Then wax. Wax on…

Daniel: Hey, why do I have to…?

[Daniel wonders if Miyagi is picking on him just like all the kids at school do.]

Miyagi: Ah ah! Remember deal! No questions!

Daniel: Yeah, but…

[Daniel begins to wonder why he is such a loser]

Miyagi: Hai!

[makes some circular gestures with hands]

Miyagi: Wax on, right hand. Wax off, left hand. Wax on, wax off. Breathe in through nose, out the mouth. Wax on, wax off. Don’t forget breathe, very important.

[Miyagi: walks away, still making circular motions with hands]

[Daniel in protest tries to stop breathing, but cant because he is such a loser]

Miyagi: Wax on, wax off. Wax on, wax off.

Real Martial Arts School Training (Where the popular kids go):

Kreese: We do not train to be merciful here. Mercy is for the weak. Here, in the streets, in competition: A man confronts you, he is the enemy. An enemy deserves no mercy.

[Kreese thinks he is cool, and wants to beat up some of the kids in his class later for fun]

Daniel arrives to the fight with his new wax on wax off skills

Daniel: All right, so what are the rules here?

Miyagi: Don’t know. First time you, first time me.

[Daniel thinks WTF]

Daniel: Well, I figured you knew about this stuff. I figured you went to these before. Oh great, I’m dead. I am dead. You told me you fought a lot.

[Daniel thinks he is going to die]

Miyagi: For life, not for points.

[Miyagi also thinks Daniel is going to die]

Daniel Walks towards his doom

Daniel: Where am I, this ring over here?

[Daniel thinks he is going to die soon]

Miyagi: Hai. Number three.

[Miyagi tries to hold back a smile, knowing Daniel is in for it]

Daniel: What’s that guy kneeling like that for?

Miyagi: Don’t know.

[Miyagi knows what he is kneeling for, he is praying for forgiveness for the things he is going to do to Daniel]

Daniel: Don’t you know anything you can tell me?

Miyagi: Hai. No get hit.

Kreese: Bobby – I want him out of commission.

Bobby: But Sensei, I can beat this guy!

Kreese: I don’t want him beaten.

Bobby: But I’ll be disqualified!

The opponents bow.

Theu both assume fighting stances.

Bobby kicks off Daniels head.

Wrong Funny Rabbit and Duck T-Shirt

I recently got my hands on a toy I have wanted to own myself for a very long time.

Heat vision goggles.

The nice thing about heat vision goggles, is not only can they see in the dark, but also through walls. They register different temperatures in different colors. Black is very cool, and yellow is very hot.

I was of course eager to try out the goggles, and the first night I got them, I went running around the house looking at various things. Unfortunately the walls have no heat in them, so several times I ran into the wall, I also ran into several tables,  chairs, and a bookshelf, eventually I decided to stop running.

I tried to see my own heat signature in the mirror, and amazingly I have none at all.

My brother has a heat signature if I look right at him, but in the mirror again no heat. I figure this is because he is only a halve vampire.

Anyhow, lets get to the point, after a while I began to look around outside the house, and it is amazing all the hidden things you can see. Hidden cats in bushes, hidden birds in the trees, and I was a little surprised to see all the hidden ducks and rabbits.

You wouldn’t normally think of ducks and rabbits hiding in the bushes all over the place, but I think this is just because they are so good at hiding.

Funny Wrong Duck Rabbit Shirt

Hilarious Wrong T-Shirt - Click Image $19.99

But what are they hiding you might ask, well I was quite surprised when I saw this, for some reason, the rabbits and the ducks seem to go from red to orange and all the way up to yellow whenever they are together having secret meeting in the bushes.

My brother thought they were fighting, but of course from watching the jerky motions of the little rabbit behind the duck, the truth is obvious.

We all know the reputation of rabbits of being good hoppers, and they are obviously practicing hoping over the duck, but they cant quite get over, leading to a large exertion of energy from both the rabbit as he tries to hop, and the duck as he tries to be hopped, hence the yellow glow on the heat vision goggles.

The little rabbits tend to try and get over the duck for about two to three minutes at least two times every evening.

My sister says they are Doing It, but she is a pervert.

Anyhow we took a heat vision photograph and put it on this really funny t-shirt, you can see more shirt styles and colors if you decide to click on it.

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