Go The Fok To Sleep – Reading by Samuel L Jackson

Next time you or someone you love are having a hard time sleeping, please consider listening to Samuel L Jackson soothing voice as he lulls you and your children to sleep with some lovely stories of sparrows, sleeping tigers, flowers, and mountains.

A book titled Go The Fok To Sleep by Adam Mansbach

WWF Panda Parody Shirt

WWF Panda Parody Shirt

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And here we have WWF taking his well deserved and rightful spot at center ring, stopping for just a moment to pose for the cameras.

Oh wait, whats this!? It looks like the previous WWF champ, Mauler, is creeping around behind the ring, what could this dastardly villain be up to? He seems to be digging around down there for something. Looks like he found a chair. Maybe he is going to offer WW a seat?

Oh no! It doesn’t look to me like he wants WW to sit, and down the chair comes, Mauler just smacked WW hard! And he is continuing to smack him over an over again, at this point I would guess the beatings will probably continue until Mauler’s morale improves. WW must feel like he’s back in China being stuffed into a firecracker by now!

What a horrible sight, sorry you were here to see this ladies and gentlemen, lets hope the kids left the room, or poor WW may not be the only one here left scarred for life.

Funny WWF Panda Shirt

Dating Surprise WTF ?!

I have been reading fellow writer and friend, Robert Morshel’s blog for a short while now, and have found him to be always good for a laugh, so I invited him to come write a post for me here at Chasing Carrots inspired by the the acronym W.T.F. Thankfully he accepted and this is what he came up with. Enjoy!

WTF By: Robert Morshel

The sheets rustled and I opened my eyes. The room was still dark, but I felt the mattress give and heard the sound of feet softly padding to the bathroom. The click of a switch suddenly flooded the bed with painful light, and I closed my eyes until the door closed. I listened to clack of the toilet seat, followed by a gentle, persistent trickle of water that stirred my own bladder.

What a night. Whatever her name was, she had had a voracious, almost Amazonian, sexual appetite that had worn me thoroughly out. Six, seven times, was it? Before last night I would have thought it impossible at my age, but she had somehow, almost supernaturally, seemed to know all the things that a man needs and wants, and had extracted every ounce of desire that I possessed. My loins stirred painfully at the memories. What a woman.

The toilet flushed, and was followed by the sound of humming and washing of hands. Her voice seemed deeper than I recalled but I paid it no mind, at least until the door opened, and before me stood a lithe, and enviably well-endowed young man. His lipsticked mouth broke into a toothy grin when he saw me gawping at him. “Ah, Mr Jones. Ready for another round?”

Bio:
Robert Morschel, writer of software in London, and words at mulledvine.com.

WTF

WTF ? !

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Epic Road Rage Win

An epic display of bad driving, road rage, and revenge.

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Rifle Ballon Gun Clown Shirt

Wili Has Had Enough – Click Image

Wili was a good kid, but the natural pigment of his skin often caused others to not take him seriously.

Wili’s earliest memory was of him learning to ride his bike as a child, the whole family was there as Wili became excited, and began to peddle faster. After reaching quite a high speed, he fell, first tumbling and then sliding along the pavement, his clothing ripped, and then his skin underneath. Once he stopped sliding, he lay on the ground trying to move, and through his teary eyes looked back at his family. His grandpa was holding his big fat belly like Santa Clause and shouted as he laughed “Do it again Clown!”

Then his whole family started a chant as they laughed “Clown! Clown! Clown! Clown!”.

It was no surprise to those of us who really knew Wili, that he would have such a strong attraction to guns later in life.

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