Beware Of Slappy-Fu

There are many different evolved and developed fighting styles in the world, through training, the students learn to see the tell tale signs of where an opponent is intending to strike, they are then trained to launch an appropriate block and counter attack. Defending themselves becomes reactionary after a time, and no thought is really necessary in such situations.

Studying fighting can bring great confidence to the student’s life against bullies who threaten them or others around them. They should not be so confident anymore though, having just watched the video below, of a new fighting style, I will call Slappy-Fu, I do not feel their tradition studies will have the proper training needed to defend against such mysterious attacks.

Enjoy !

Holy crap! Did you see the way that guy ripped the paper ?

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At first, for an unmeasurable amount of time, there was nothing. Then came a sound, and everything was created.

4.5 billion years later we had Bruce Lee.

Though Bruce never decided to destroy the universe and send us all back to the nothing, he did have the power to do so.

During the filming of Way of the Dragon Chuck Norris challenged Bruce to a sparring contest. Bruce accepted, moved into a fighting stance, and breathed slowly inward, and then with his mouth, emitted the loudest sound ever heard.

Wattah”!

All Earth’s creatures became deaf.

Bruce later released us from our deafness by speaking, while breathing inwards, the word Hattaw.

Chuck decided to forfeit the match, Bruce had simply raised the stakes too high, and Chuck knew the universe could not survive a match of their combined magnitude.

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Karate Kid Training:

Miyagi: First, you wash all the car. Then wax. Wax on…

Daniel: Hey, why do I have to…?

[Daniel wonders if Miyagi is picking on him just like all the kids at school do.]

Miyagi: Ah ah! Remember deal! No questions!

Daniel: Yeah, but…

[Daniel begins to wonder why he is such a loser]

Miyagi: Hai!

[makes some circular gestures with hands]

Miyagi: Wax on, right hand. Wax off, left hand. Wax on, wax off. Breathe in through nose, out the mouth. Wax on, wax off. Don’t forget breathe, very important.

[Miyagi: walks away, still making circular motions with hands]

[Daniel in protest tries to stop breathing, but cant because he is such a loser]

Miyagi: Wax on, wax off. Wax on, wax off.

Real Martial Arts School Training (Where the popular kids go):

Kreese: We do not train to be merciful here. Mercy is for the weak. Here, in the streets, in competition: A man confronts you, he is the enemy. An enemy deserves no mercy.

[Kreese thinks he is cool, and wants to beat up some of the kids in his class later for fun]

Daniel arrives to the fight with his new wax on wax off skills

Daniel: All right, so what are the rules here?

Miyagi: Don’t know. First time you, first time me.

[Daniel thinks WTF]

Daniel: Well, I figured you knew about this stuff. I figured you went to these before. Oh great, I’m dead. I am dead. You told me you fought a lot.

[Daniel thinks he is going to die]

Miyagi: For life, not for points.

[Miyagi also thinks Daniel is going to die]

Daniel Walks towards his doom

Daniel: Where am I, this ring over here?

[Daniel thinks he is going to die soon]

Miyagi: Hai. Number three.

[Miyagi tries to hold back a smile, knowing Daniel is in for it]

Daniel: What’s that guy kneeling like that for?

Miyagi: Don’t know.

[Miyagi knows what he is kneeling for, he is praying for forgiveness for the things he is going to do to Daniel]

Daniel: Don’t you know anything you can tell me?

Miyagi: Hai. No get hit.

Kreese: Bobby – I want him out of commission.

Bobby: But Sensei, I can beat this guy!

Kreese: I don’t want him beaten.

Bobby: But I’ll be disqualified!

The opponents bow.

[Bobby shuts out all outside destractions, concentrats on Daniel, thinks through several fight scenarioes in his mind, remembers his training]

[Daniel prepares to Wax off]

They both assume fighting stances.

The fight begins.

Bobby kicks off Daniels head.

[Daniel wonders why he is such a loser]

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The actual story behind The Karate Kid, non hollywood version:

Karate Kid Training:

Miyagi: First, you wash all the car. Then wax. Wax on…

Daniel: Hey, why do I have to…?

[Daniel wonders if Miyagi is picking on him just like all the kids at school do.]

Miyagi: Ah ah! Remember deal! No questions!

Daniel: Yeah, but…

[Daniel begins to wonder why he is such a loser]

Miyagi: Hai!

[makes some circular gestures with hands]

Miyagi: Wax on, right hand. Wax off, left hand. Wax on, wax off. Breathe in through nose, out the mouth. Wax on, wax off. Don’t forget breathe, very important.

[Miyagi: walks away, still making circular motions with hands]

[Daniel in protest tries to stop breathing, but cant because he is such a loser]

Miyagi: Wax on, wax off. Wax on, wax off.

Real Martial Arts School Training (Where the popular kids go):

Kreese: We do not train to be merciful here. Mercy is for the weak. Here, in the streets, in competition: A man confronts you, he is the enemy. An enemy deserves no mercy.

[Kreese thinks he is cool, and wants to beat up some of the kids in his class later for fun]

Daniel arrives to the fight with his new wax on wax off skills

Daniel: All right, so what are the rules here?

Miyagi: Don’t know. First time you, first time me.

[Daniel thinks WTF]

Daniel: Well, I figured you knew about this stuff. I figured you went to these before. Oh great, I’m dead. I am dead. You told me you fought a lot.

[Daniel thinks he is going to die]

Miyagi: For life, not for points.

[Miyagi also thinks Daniel is going to die]

Daniel Walks towards his doom

Daniel: Where am I, this ring over here?

[Daniel thinks he is going to die soon]

Miyagi: Hai. Number three.

[Miyagi tries to hold back a smile, knowing Daniel is in for it]

Daniel: What’s that guy kneeling like that for?

Miyagi: Don’t know.

[Miyagi knows what he is kneeling for, he is praying for forgiveness for the things he is going to do to Daniel]

Daniel: Don’t you know anything you can tell me?

Miyagi: Hai. No get hit.

Kreese: Bobby – I want him out of commission.

Bobby: But Sensei, I can beat this guy!

Kreese: I don’t want him beaten.

Bobby: But I’ll be disqualified!

The opponents bow.

Theu both assume fighting stances.

Bobby kicks off Daniels head.

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