Awww come on man the tree just wants a hug – Click Image $19.99 USD
Trees are stupid, sticky, and smelly, they break the roads and sidewalks, and drop little pieces of themselves all over my house and car. I hate trees.
Oh I know the birds like them, but who needs bird poop on their cars, one time I had a bird poop on my head from a tree, and I didn’t like that either, if the tree wasn’t there than there would have been no bird poop on my head that day. Stupid birds in stupid trees, waking me up in the morning and pooping. If birds were civilized they would use the tree to wipe their bottoms like humans do.
I really like to cut down trees and burn them, the food I cook on the fire tastes especially good because I know it was cooked with tree.
At my work I help turn trees into business reports, which we file away and never read again. This is what trees are for.
I Poor Buy Me Something Shirt - Click Image $17.99 USD
Everywhere I look today everyone has these cool new iGadgets, they have touch screens, video, music, applications and games. I see advertisements for them on the TV and the Internet, and hear about them on the radio, and I see others with them. I really want one, If I had one of these I would be happy forever.
I don’t have a car I wish i had a car, a big one would be nice, maybe a bit stylish looking, slightly pimped up Mercedes. With like some really cool looking mags on it.
Right now though all I really need is just one of those super cool touch screen iGadgets.
Can you get me an iGadget please? I am not asking for much, just one of those?
The Solution to all Computer Problems at Work. - Click Image $17.99 USD
Computers can be a frustrating thing, it is very difficult to try and find the origins and solution to the issues your computer will give you over time.
However, if you have a problem with your computer at work, now you can get this fail safe guide to solving it. Just follow these simple steps and all of your problems will be a thing of the past.
Thankfully this Computer Problem Solving Flowchart comes in the amazingly easy to carry format of being an actual t-shirt, what will they think of next?!
Computers can be a frustrating thing, it is very difficult to try and find the origins and solution to the issues your computer will give you over time.
However, if you have a problem with your computer at work, now you can get this failsafe guide to solving it. Just follow these simple steps and all of your problems will be a thing of the past.
Thankfully this Computer Problem Solving Flowchart comes in the amazingly easy to carry format of being an actual t-shirt, what will they think of next?!
If only there was a sign...Click Image To Buy Shirt $19.99
I still remember my first Butthole Surfers concert. When the band came on and started playing, the people started to twist, turn, and jump around while bouncing off one another.
At first it was fun, there was even one very hot girl that kept bouncing and bumping into me. In turn, I started bouncing and turning back into her. Suddenly something hit me in the back of the head, I think it was an elbow, I turned around and saw a big angry guy bouncing around looking at me, the girl bounced into me again, in a very pleasing way, then this guy jumped and twisted his elbow across my mouth.
Around me the people all seemed to raise all their elbows up a bit, some smacked this guy, who then smacked other people. Next thing I knew there were elbows flying everywhere. It was not so fun anymore.
As my vision got blurry, I felt there should have been a a sign “Caution Mosh Pit”.
Butthole Surfers Who was in my Room Last Night Lyrics:
I’m flying, I’m flying
All night long my body burned
the sheets were wet and cold
the lights were on my eyes were gone
any second lose control
the pounding on my window is just the pounding in my head
I wonder who was in my room last night,
who the hell was in my bed?
Ahhh!
There must have been a body there
I swear I felt some flesh
it took a little time
but I figured they were mine
there were fingers goin down my chest
my mouth went through the ceiling and my body fell through the floor
I couldn’t find the key cause there was no one I could see
and someone had moved the door
Ahhh!
The cops the priest the crisis line,
And no one really had a clue
no one could tell who abducted me,
Or exactly what I should do
my throat was dry and my hopes were high,
but nothing really ever got said
Who was in my room that night,
who the hell was in my bed?
AHHH!
Do you really want to mess with us? - Click Image $17.99
Bruce Lee was born on 27 November 1940, when little Bruce tumbled out of his mother, drop kicked the doctor through the wall, and then made out with all three nurses in the room.
In July of 1945, Einstein realized the formula E=Bruce Lee. The Illuminati pleaded with four year old Bruce to jump on an airplane bound for Japan. Bruce had not broken a sweat after vaporized a good part of Hiroshima, so decided to continue his exercise on Nagasaki.
Bruce Lee’s fists travel at four times the speed of light, Bruce was known to occasionally punch into the past to knock out what he called “bad mannered” dinosaurs, just because he could.
Bruce Lee is My Homeboy, are you sure you want to mess with us?
