I’m A Slow Learner Shirt – Monkey With Dynamite

I'm A Slow Learner

I'm A Slow Learner Shirt - Funny Monkey Shirt $19.99

Dude, give the monkey a match.

Oh come on man, you know it’s going to be funny, and look at the little guy he really wants it.

Yeah, I know it hurt him before, but he wants to do it again. Why would you deny him his fun? How can you resist those cute little eyes?

Don’t you see how he is looking at you? Just give him a light.

Cool, good job on the match. Now he is smiling. You have made him happy.

Look at him, the silly monkey, what a slow learner he is, he doesn’t realize what is about to happen, he is just excited to hear the firecracker go bang.

This is going to be really funny.

Good Monkey Like Beer, Not Like Banana T-Shirt

On March 8, 2010, my college Joe and I were brought to the Tuktoyaktuk headquarters of the NWO to have a meeting with “The Monkey”

Part of my work as a traveling photo journalist working on secret contract for the NWO, is of course the study of monkeys. In this case actually a Chimpanzee, who is not really a monkey, but this one believes he is so we wont argue with him. We were told The Monkey had a message to share with the world, and that we were here to collect, and publish it.

Upon arrival, we were guided through heavy security to a large room on top of the fortress.  We waited a few  minutes, then were instructed by a large heavily armed guard that The Monkey would see us now.

Funny Good Monkey Like Beer Not Like Banana Shirt

Good Monkeys Like Beer and Headphones, Not Bananas Shirt - $19.99 click on image

We followed the guard into  a very large room that almost  took up an entire floor of the huge fortress, books covered the walls, and there was a large lit fireplace with a reading lamp next to an beautiful leather armchair.

The Monkey was in the chair  stoking  the fire a bit with a black metal rod, after a moment, he looked up at us with his wise, all knowing  eyes.

He said, “You know, it has always been to my belief, after meeting with my fellow monkey companions, that in order to become above average, and considered a ” Good monkey”, you must do things differently than most of the masses.

The monkey took a long pause, and looked thoughtfully around the room, there was a shine in his eyes, I am not sure if it was  from the fire, or some sort of internal glow fueled by his great wisdom.

“What is your secret?” I asked him.

The Monkey picked up an ice cold  bottle of beer from beside his chair,  put on his headphones and began to sway to some music that my associate and I couldn’t hear, then he said something I will never forget.

“Good Monkey Like Beer Not Like  Banana.”

Ching Chong Chai – Rock Paper Scissors to the Death – Funny Shirt

As kids we occasionally played the game Rock Paper Scissors amongst ourselves. It was a decent way to spend short periods of time, and settle our disagreements.

Rock Paper Scissors to the Death Shirt

Rock Paper Scissors to The Death - Click on t-shirt image $17.99 USD

When rock beat scissors, scissors beat paper, or paper beat rock, as children we would laugh and simply try again. This was something that we did almost daily, and no harm ever came from it.

Often however as we grow up, the things that are so simple as children become much more complicated.

As adults the true nature of our actions become apparent to us. Our decisions much more vital.

Rock, Paper or Scissors… which to choose.

Rock Paper Scissors is  in actual proven fact by some guys in Tuktoyaktuk, using seals,  just another way of  acting out our predator within, our evil internal spirit that is always just waiting under our happy, shiny external presence we try and hide from others.

This image shows you the evil that can be done by adults that play children’s games.

The two gangsters incant the game using Chinese so as to have more kung fu or Jedi like abilities, “Ching Chong Chai”

Do not try this at home.

The World is Actually Older Than the Internet

One of the things that I find the most annoying on the Internet today, is disinformation, and those that still believe anything they read, which usually just helps spread the confusion.

We are currently selling a shirt on our main website https://supershirtguy.com/ that Europeans have been wearing, for at least 14 years. I am actually selling the ones made by the original manufacturer.

So here I am putting this particular shirt on the Internet, and I find Three people all claiming they are the artist that has drawn it, and are all selling them on American websites, as the original.

Now I have to say here that I was recently spoken about on one of these Massive huge shirt company websites,  I don’t know if any of them are part of the company or not, and to be honest most of them didn’t like my selection of shirts, but that is fine, they are only made for cool people to wear anyhow.

Some though accused us of plagiarizing the art used on the shirt.

So to them I would like to say this.

First of all we only buy and resell the shirts we have nothing to do with the design right now.

Second of all your websites claim on the design is less than 5 years old, and this company I believe has been around for over 2 decades, and had this particular design over a decade already.

Third I am actually pretty sure They are the largest t-shirt store in the world, yours might be the biggest in America, but who knows you may even buy from these people for all I know.

Forth of all, The world is older than the Internet. Believe it or not being the first to stake claim to a picture you place on the Internet does not actually mean it didn’t exist before.

I Do All My Own Stunts Shirt

Life is full of dangers and accidents, often famous people have “stunt men” stand in for them to save them from the threat of injury or pain.

But there are real men in this world, that take care of themselves, they don’t need a person paid to take the risk of pain or damage away from them.

Real men like me are not afraid of a little pain, thankfully I do all my own stunts.

A list of stunts I have done myself:

    I Do All My Own Stunts Flaming Sick Figure Tee

    I Do All My Own Stunts, Do you ? Click Image $17.99 USD

  • Being attacked by poodles – It is true this was a little scary at first, I would not recommend this for everyone, there is of course  pain involved, but doing so just made me a tougher man.
  • Falling off my bicycle – I came, I rode, I fell off. After the screaming, running around and crying ended, I was just that much stronger.
  • Scratched by kittens – This was very scary at first, but after years of kitten abuse, I am now so strong, I actually do this one for fun.
  • Stubbing my toes – I have done this so often I am not even worried anymore, I actually walk around the house barefoot these days.

I am quite proud of the stunts I have performed, and now wear this shirt as a badge to my braveness, you can click on the image to get your own if you wish.

Go to top
Translate »