When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.